Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize