I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize