He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
be right there i have to get my cape
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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