Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize