just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
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you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
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i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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