well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize