3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please come you make the beer taste better
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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