everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize