it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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