I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I will pee on everything he values.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize