her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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