this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize