Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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