thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize