Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize