I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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