Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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