Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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