I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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