Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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