Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize