I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
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Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
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You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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