And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Everclear isn't food dammit
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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