yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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