This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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