I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
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Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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