So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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