Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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