Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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