i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
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