ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize