yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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