theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
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Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
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Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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