Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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