alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize