I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize