This is not my ceiling
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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