So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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