His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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