just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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