it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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