we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize