if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize