and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
MIDGETS
????
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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