oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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