Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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