So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize