I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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