great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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