i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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